I HAD THE MOST AMAZING NITE EVERRR LAST NITE AT THE FAIR.
pete is the most adoreable boy everrr. 
he was insanely sweet the whole nite.
i couldn't stop smiling.
He always would ask me if i wanted any of his drink or any food. I just don't think I have ever gotten that kind of treatment from a guy before.
I have finally realized that I don't need to be treated like shit from guys anymore. I just won't put up with it. I just WON'T!
I love my bestest friend Heath so much.
She makes everything seem so fun.
I am so glad i moved to this town seriously. [hah]
I just feel so good about everything. 
I hope we get to know eachother more and we become more than just "friends".
Oh, and I hope I can see him before Monday but, if not... I'll be happy just knowing that I can see him in the hall or at lunch or whateverr. : ]]


Except for the fact that I might be breaking someone else's heart by saying i can't go to homecoming with him. Sorry cutes. : [[
He leaves for college soon and I don't even live by him... great.
But, he isn't like jeff, he's the kind that will surely understand because we talked about this the other nite on the phone. Yeah, I mean I do like him but, now it's like... What am I doing?? I promised myself I wouldn't get caught up in another long distance relationship. Man... I need to tell him. I really hope he doesn't hate me for this...I really do!


Oh, and another thing... 
I would really like to talk to Jeff if only he wouldn't be sucha jerk to me half the time... and yes... i do contribute to that... but I'm mad at myself for being soo bitchy most of the time with him. It's like I can't explain how much I am sorry and I wish I could just change my mind but the truth is I can't... He was my first "real" boyfriend. How the HELL do i know what the word "love" is. If he doesn't get that I need to know for sure what things mean then wtf... I don't need to be with someone like that. I'm sorry I hurt him so many times before even though he says I don't. : [[ If only he could understand me... just once.


it's like my life is a uphill battle and It won't get better until it gets worse. Why does life have to be so goddamn shitty half the time??
grr. I just knew what the fuck to do with my life half the time instead of thinking I know what's going on... 
I have really realized how many people I have probably hurt all my life and I'm sorry for it. I truely am... what can I say... well, pretty much that is ALL i can say... *sigh*
I just need some advice to what the hell I am doing I am completely lost in this world....
It's All Your Circus Now, I guess...


So... plans for tomorrow... Fair with Heather maybe?? and if not... I guess I'll be doing NOTHING! : / maybe homework... how GHEYY is that?!?!